A letter from Tang Seng to Sun Wukong, worth reading
A letter from Tang Seng to Sun Wukong (repost)
Wukong, my disciple:
The reason I didn't pick up your call that day was that I was in a meeting. Nowadays all meeting rooms have surveillance, and everyone is issued a laptop. You can play games on it, but you can't make phone calls, so you have to be careful. Some things are hard to explain over the phone, so I wrote you this letter.
You are a very capable person. Without you, your master would have long been eaten by demons and turned into fertilizer. But times have changed, and relying on ability alone is not enough. You need to change your mindset. In this regard you should learn more from Bajie. He is now doing very well, thriving and in his element. Not only does he work the upper-level connections well, but he also has high prestige among the female comrades. Last time when outstanding young cadres were recommended, you only got 2 votes, 1 of which was mine, and I estimate the other 1 was cast by yourself. Bajie's votes, however, were far ahead. It is said that Chang'e also cast 1 vote for him. Tell me, how can women nowadays be like this? Could she have forgotten that last time Bajie sexually harassed her after drinking? Thinking about it now, that incident last time must have been Chang'e hyping it up herself. Sigh, nowadays sex photo scandals are no longer a big deal. I heard that even car sex videos have no one watching them anymore. The civil servants in Heaven are all f***ing into naked chat plus opening hotel rooms via Weibo.
Wukong, you need to do some serious self-reflection. Although you made many contributions on the journey to fetch the scriptures, those all belong to the past. What matters now is building good relations with the leadership and eliminating the negative impact of the havoc in Heaven and your imprisonment. You have been the temporary person in charge of the Huaguo Mountain Scenic Area Management Committee for many years. Why haven't you been made permanent? Do I even need to say why? I know you have a straightforward temper and blush when giving gifts. So what if you blush? Can your face get redder than your butt? I heard that the Six-Eared Macaque has been wanting to take your position and even gave the Queen Mother of the West monkey head mushrooms. Don't get angry. The old saying goes well: if you can't bear to part with the child, you can't catch the wolf; if you can't bear to part with the monkey, you can't catch the Queen Mother of the West; if you can't bear to part with the wife, you can't catch the rogue!
Of the five of us who went to fetch the scriptures in the West, the White Dragon Horse is a standard second-generation official plus second-generation rich kid. His father is Ao Gang, the Dragon King of the West Sea. Just a few days after returning from fetching the scriptures, he was appointed deputy director of the East Sea Management Committee, and also a standing committee member of the South Sea. Last time he invited me on a 10-day tour of the East Sea. The pomp was such that even your master was jealous. I finally understood what one-stop dragon service means. He is way more awesome than me, the director of the Journey to the West Management Committee. Bajie and Sha Seng were sent down for temporary post training. Now, apart from being restored to their original posts, they have both been promoted to bureau-director level. Only you jumped out of a crack in a rock, with no father, no mother, and no background, so everything depends on yourself. To use the popular saying nowadays, you have the fate of a widow, with no one above you. Think about Old Xu, the great immortal of Hengyang. His conditions are the same as yours, but he was willing to give money, and wasn't he promoted to mayor of a coastal special economic zone?
No matter what, you have to change. Stop always using your fiery golden eyes; it makes people uncomfortable. You're not the audit bureau director. And there's that monkey mouth of yours. You say whatever should be said and whatever shouldn't be said. You need to change that old habit of being monkey-impatient! The times are changing too fast. Bajie's child is already in his teens, and next year he plans to send him to university in the Western Heaven, after which he will stay there and not come back. And Sha Seng, don't be fooled by how honest he looks. Now he has started a Flowing Sands River real estate development company and has even built villas on the moon. He is already living with the Six Fairies, and has a thing with He Xiangu too. I heard he is also playing broken-back with Han Xiangzi. NND, he has dozens of houses alone.
Wukong, you are still single. What era are we in, and you still want to find a virgin? Never mind Heaven, even the mortal world doesn't have any left. Now you know why the brothels down below are all called Heaven on Earth, right? Also, stop always clinging to people's pasts. Your master thinks the White Bone Demon is pretty good. She is not only a star in film, television, and music, but also known as a white-collar backbone elite. Last time she even said you are a standard real man and that she doesn't mind the hair on your body, saying that's popular now. You should consider it too.
Yesterday the Queen of the Women's Kingdom urged me again about the marriage matter, and even publicly said on Weibo that she wanted to elope with your master, which has attracted more and more onlookers. I want to get the wedding done as soon as possible. Although she is not as sexy as the Spider Demon, does not have as good a figure as the Pipa Demon, and is not as pure and cute as the Jade Rabbit Demon, her family background is good, and in the future it will greatly help your master's official career. If the Spider Demon is willing, then let her be a confidante. The Pipa Demon and Jade Rabbit Demon can just be kept mistresses and the other woman. I'll stop here. I've said a bit too much. Wukong, think carefully about your master's opinion. What your master wrote to you is not a letter, but his heart!
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