The Big Book of Cold Jokes: Have a Relaxing Laugh in Your Off-Season from Farming

On such a hot day, here are a few cold jokes to cool everyone down and beat the heat.

Xiao Ming: Why is the ocean blue?

Xiao Hong: Because fish blow bubbles.

Xiao Ming: Why?

Xiao Hong: Because blue blue.

One day, Zhang San was fishing by the river when Li Si happened to ride past behind him on horseback; just then a fish took the hook. Zhang San excitedly pulled up his rod and shouted:

"Fish... finally took the hook!"

Li Si fell off his horse! He stormed over angrily and said loudly: "Why did you make my horse stop? Don't you know I'm in a hurry?"

Xiao Ming caught a fish by the river.

Xiao Ming said: "I'm going to eat you!"

The fish said: "No, please! Can you let me go?"

Xiao Ming said: "Fine, then I'll ask you a question. Answer it right and I'll let you go."

The little fish said: "Okay, ask me, ask me, ask me, ask me, ask me!"

So Xiao Ming grilled the little fish.

Ye Zi: Boss Yu, the wall in our living room seems a bit too white!

Boss Yu: I think so too!

Ye Zi: Then how about we do a hand-painted wall???

Boss Yu: Hmm... that works too! Then let's find someone to paint it!

Ye Zi: So what should we paint? I think lotus leaves! A pond!... (Ye Zi likes the more classical style)

Boss Yu rolled his eyes at Ye Zi! And said one word: "So tacky!"

Ye Zi: Then you say it, what would you paint?

Boss Yu:... I think painting Ultraman is better! Or aliens attacking Earth! Good idea, huh?

Ye Zi:...

The little fish asked the big fish: "Mom, they say our fish memories only last 7 seconds?" The big fish said: "What did you just say?" The little fish said: "What." The big fish said: "What are you doing?" The little fish said: "What's going on?"... (Then how does the little fish remember its mom, and how does the big fish remember its child?)

Today a zoologist came to the school to give a lecture. When asked why he had only one leg, he said: "Back then, to prove that fish memories only last 7 seconds, I hit a big fish on the head with a stick, but it didn't flee far. I guessed it would forget after 7 seconds, but it didn't, and it even attacked my left leg."

"So you paid a heavy price for science, proving that some fish don't have only 7-second memories?"

"No, I proved that crocodiles aren't fish."

The big fish wanted to eat the little fish,

The little fish ran desperately,

The big fish chased like mad,

The little fish screamed for help,

The big fish scolded: Little thing, you're a fish, not a person, how can you scream for help?

The little fish thought: Right, how can I scream?

So then...

...it stopped screaming

The cannibal chief asked his son: "Son, it's your birthday today, what do you want to eat?"

The son licked his lips and said: "Daddy, I want to eat fish!"

The chief nodded dotingly, turned around and instructed his attendants to put all the Pisces people among the captured tourists into the pot. (Pisces takes a stray hit...)

Don't overthink the logic of cold jokes, a laugh keeps you young