40 of the most brilliant witty replies from home and abroad - come see if your favorite made the list
I've gathered some of the most brilliant witty replies from around the internet, spanning Zhihu, Weibo, Buzzfeed, and many more. Let's take a look.
01
Where are the most beautiful girls in China?
Where can you find the most beautiful girls in China?
“
WeChat Moments
WeChat Moments
”
02
Please give a line of poetry with deep meaning
Please name a thought-provoking sentence from a poem.
“
When one is lazy, all shirts feel small
Once lazy, all your clothes get smaller.
”
03
How do you understand "poverty is not a state"?
What"s the meaning of "poverty is not a certain situation"?
“
Poverty is a permanent state
It"s the common situation.
”
04
Guess which animals in the world cannot swim?
What animals on earth can not swim?
“
Wives and mothers
Your wife and your mother.
”
05
If you get hit by a car and sent flying 10 meters,
what's the coolest thing to say after you get up?
What is the coolest thing to say after you got hit by a car and managed to stand up again?
“
Next one
Next!
”
06
Mom, what am I to you?
Mother, what am I to you?
“
A damn idiot
My karma.
”
07
Why does my ex-girlfriend still keep following me?
What could be the reason that my ex still follows me on social networks?
“
Knowing you're doing badly puts my mind at ease
Knowing that you still mess everything up makes my day.
”
08
Why is it that when people get into a group fight
they generally take off their shirts?
Why do people usually take off their clothes when starting a gang fight?
“
If they took off their pants instead
something would just feel off, the vibe would be weird
Because it would be weird to take off your pants.
”
09
How do you refute the logic of "if you're so good, you go do it"?
How should I respond to "You can you up"?
“
If I comment that an egg tastes bad, do I have to lay one myself?
So I need to lay an egg to criticize an egg"s flavor?
”
10
How do you lose 40 jin in a month?
By what means can I lose 20 kilograms in a month?
“
Amputation
Amputation.
”
11
How do you subtly express
"I've already been bought off"
How can I subtly suggest that I"ve been compromised?
“
Let me say something fair...
Let me say this impartially...
”
12
Why do you get pimples?
Why do you have pimples?
“
Because I'm so cute I'm bubbling over
Because I"m just bubble-bubbly cute.
”
13
Is it useful to close the windows when it thunders?
Does it work to close the window when it"s thundering outside?
“
It's no use, I've tried
With the windows closed the thunder still rumbles
No, it won"t. I"ve tried.
It was still thundering outside after I closed the window.
”
14
What extremely low-probability events have you witnessed?
What extremly-small-probability event have you witnessed?
“
20 cloze questions, got them all wrong
Done a cloze test of 20 questions
with 0 answer right.
”
15
When the girl returned my book, she tucked a tissue inside
What does that mean?
What does a girl mean when she return your book but with a facial tissue in it?
“
It means she's interested in you
This means you are paying extra attention to her.
”
16
With 2,000 yuan, I want to travel abroad on a budget
Which countries can I go to?
To which country can I do a budget travel with 2,000 RMB?
“
Qin, Lu, Qi, Shu, Han, Zheng, Wei, Chu, Zhao, Yan, Wu, and so on...
For example,
all the ancient countries that used to be China.
”
17
I want to keep a parrot
What words should I teach it to say?
I wanna keep a parrot as pet. What would be cool to teach it to say?
“
Help, I've been turned into a parrot!
Help!
They"ve turned me into a parrot!
”
18
What's the line between adorably dorky and brainless?
What is the boundry between "clumsy" and "stupid"?
“
And
the and
”
19
Why do girls have a natural body fragrance while boys don't?
Why do women give out sweet scent but men don"t?
“
Marinated in cosmetics until the scent soaked in
The makeup is fermenting.
”
20
What can a guy say
that girls will find really classy?
What would be manly for a man to say in front of a girl?
“
Buy
I"ll pay.
”
21
What does being madly in love feel like?
How does it feel to love somebody insanely?
“
Two people who look like pigs
still afraid the other will be snatched away..
Two people who are on no aspect attractive worry about each other being stolen by someone else.
”
22
What compliment made you feel awkward?
Is there any compliment that makes you awkward?
“
You really can't judge a book by its cover
We really cannot judge a book by its cover, can we?
”
23
How come you're shopping alone?
Why are you shopping all by yourself?
“
If I shopped as half a person I'd be afraid of scaring you
I fear it would scare you to death if I were shopping all by no one.
”
24
What's it like being single for more than two years?
How does it feel to be single for more than 2 years?
“
Single for 22 years
I don't know which two years you mean?
I"ve been single for 22 years.
Which 2 years are you suggesting?
”
25
What's that layer outside the Earth called?
How do you call the outside layer of Earth?
“
Xiangpiaopiao milk tea
Xiang Piao Piao milk tea.
”
26
If it were ancient times
my looks could hold up an entire brothel
Back in the ancient times, a face like mine can hold a whole brothel.
“
Are you saying you look like a pillar?
You mean you look like a pillar?
”
27
Happy to serve you
I"m glad to be at your service.
“
You're happy too early
You"ll find out you got glad too fast.
”
28
In the Northern Sea there is a fish, its name is Kun
Once in the northern sea, there was a fish and people called it Kun.
“
The crowd ate it, the end
And people ate it.
The end.
”
29
Mom, can I watch TV?
Mom, can I watch the television?
“
Of course you can, as long as you don't turn it on
Of course you can, as long as it"s turned off.
”
30
You have to figure out the question-setter's intent
You need to understand why they set this question in the first place.
“
He wants me dead
They want me dead.
”
31
Did you know? You'll eventually become the person you hate
You know what? You eventually become someone you loathe.
“
Thanks for the kind words, I hate rich people
Thanks, I loathe people who are rich.
”
32
Any good suggestions for traveling to Beijing during National Day?
Gonna be traveling in Beijing during the National Day vacation. Any suggestion?
“
Don't go
Don"t go.
”
33
Once I'm thin I'll come back to you
I"ll come back for you when I get slim.
“
If you don't want to see me, you could just say so
You can level with me if you don"t want to see me.
”
34
Who is the greatest fictional character of all time?
Who is the greatest fictional character in history?
“
Other people's kids
Someone else"s child.
”
35
Look at other people's boyfriends
They all eat the leftovers from their girlfriends' meals!!!
Look at other girls" boyfriends. They eat their grilfriends" leftover.
“
Then save me some leftovers already
Sounds as if you ever left any over.
”
36
Why is showing off your love usually done at noon?
Why do people always show off their relationships at noon?
“
Because sooner or later there will be retribution
Because sooner or later karma will come to them.
”
37
Please describe your boyfriend in one word
Please use one word to describe your boyfriend.
“
Where?
Where?
”
38
How do you turn someone down when they're pursuing you?
How do I successfully reject someone who is pursuing me?
“
Ground yourself and remove your makeup
Remove your makeup,right now, right there.
”
39
To make you study hard, what have your parents given you?
What did your parents give you to make you study harder?
“
This face
This face.
”
40
When visiting a wonder of the world
what information do you most want to know?
What do you want to know the most when you visit a World Wonder?
“
Is there anything good to eat around here?
What can I find to eat around there?
”
41
How do I come across as really aloof and cool?
How can I look high-end and cool?
“
Move to the Himalayas
Move to the Himalayas.
”
42
Why do some guys stop pursuing a girl halfway through?
Why do some boys give up half-way pursuing a girl?
“
Then give me a progress bar already
Why don"t you display a progress bar?
”
43
Why is it that after taking a shower
some people feel they've gotten prettier?
Why do some people find themselves prettier after they take a shower?
“
Water got into your brain
The brain has water damage.
”
By the way,
Did your favorite witty reply make the list?
If not, what's your personal favorite?
Come share it with everyone in the comments section.
——END——
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