The four highest realms of life: pain without words, laughter without speech, confusion without losing oneself, shock without chaos

In life, we will inevitably experience twists and setbacks, joy and sorrow, partings and reunions. Only then is it truly life. One's life cannot be smooth sailing all the way; it is a process from immaturity to maturity and then to seasoned wisdom.

The four rare realms of life: First, pain without words - silence is not the absence of pain, but facing grief, pain and agony head-on. Second, laughter without speech - a smile has the power to move mountains; a calm smile can sometimes surpass thousands of troops. Third, confusion without losing oneself - composure is the cultivation of life; obsession and losing composure will harm oneself. Fourth, shock without chaos - it is hard not to be startled by favor and disgrace; when the heart is startled, it stirs, but within movement there is stillness, and shock without chaos has a distinctive beauty.

Pain without words is a kind of strength

More than two thousand years ago, King Goujian of Yue slept on brushwood and tasted gall, and tasted excrement to inquire about illness. The pain of a broken country and a ruined home, he did not speak of it; the pain of having his dignity trampled upon, he did not speak of it; the pain of lying on firewood and chewing bitter gall, he did not speak of it. He sealed all this grief and indignation in his heart, condensing it into a sharp sword that pointed straight at the brow of the King of Wu! In the end, heaven did not fail the determined, and three thousand Yue soldiers swallowed up Wu.

Pain without words - we need the strength of human nature to trample through thorns and obstacles, and we need the wisdom of life to withstand the storms. In fact, pain without words conveys a belief to us: after the storm, a rainbow will surely come. By then, looking back at the desolate place we came from, it will surely be neither wind nor rain, nor shine!

Laughter without speech is a kind of open-mindedness

Li Bai, who said "The whole world is muddled, I alone am clear; everyone is drunk, I alone am sober," faced the mediocre Emperor Xuanzong of Tang during the Tianbao era and the entire dark society, accomplished nothing, and was depressed and unfulfilled. Although he was honored as a Hanlin scholar, every day he merely accompanied the emperor and ministers in drinking and making merry, and that was all. Laughing heartily toward the sky, Li Bai ultimately left the imperial court, carrying his "laughter without speech" and lingering among mountains and waters. In life, rather than complaining endlessly, it is better to calm down and think deeply; time flows like water, and the burning pain will eventually settle into an experience, becoming a spirit hidden deep in the soul.

Confusion without losing oneself is a kind of wisdom

Do you understand why you are sorrowful? What exactly is the sorrow? Do you even know how long the sorrow will last, and what to do to make it less painful? You cannot lose yourself in the ocean of sorrowful emotions. To be honest, when facing major life setbacks, such as car accidents, fires, the death of loved ones, divorce, and so on, it is not easy to achieve this.

Once at Xiyuan Temple in Suzhou, I heard a Dharma master expound scriptures to lay Buddhists, and one saying was very good: Buddhism speaks of "delusion," meaning that many of our thoughts are merely illusory, but two thoughts are incomparably real, and everyone is encouraged to often contemplate them: contemplate impermanence, contemplate death.

From this we may also learn something: contemplating impermanence makes us cherish everything in the present more; contemplating death makes us better able to let go. Take gains and losses more lightly, and then when facing sudden loss, you will not lose yourself so badly. Perhaps external influences are too great, and you have lost yourself and lost control in your emotions, but when you have enough wisdom within, it can let you slowly recover after a period of time, with a wondrous and great self-healing power.

Shock without chaos is a kind of composure

The ancients said: "If one meets disgrace without being startled, and encounters humiliation without falling into chaos, one is nearly fit to take on responsibilities." In one's life, it is impossible not to suffer grievances. As the Song dynasty poet Fang Yue wrote: "Unsatisfactory matters often make up eight or nine out of ten, and those with whom one can speak of them are no more than two or three." The question is, when encountering grievances, what attitude should one take?

In fact, grievance is a test of a person and also a whetstone for personal ability. Did the ancients not say: "Hardship and difficulty are what perfect you."

First, earnestly reflect on whether there is something you have not done well enough. Why did the grievance fall on you of all people? If it is indeed because your work was not done well enough, then use this to improve - would that not be a great blessing?

With the principle of correcting it if it exists and encouraging yourself if it does not, set higher standards and requirements for yourself. In other words, treat grievances as a whetstone to sharpen your own improvement.

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