For our marriage, your family only offers 10,000 yuan as bride price and still expects me to buy a house. I would rather marry someone else.

We are getting married, your family only puts up 10,000 yuan as bride price, and still asks me to buy a house. Then I might as well marry someone else.

Marriage really is not as simple as two people and a piece of paper; it is a matter between two families. I did not understand this before, but now I do. When I went with my boyfriend to get our marriage certificate, one phone call from my mom made me realize my future mother-in-law's plan, and it made me very angry.

My boyfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and we felt we were compatible in every way, so we wanted to get our certificate and get married. We were both the late-marrying type among our friends, and we could not be bothered to date any longer. Our two families had similar financial conditions, so I thought under such circumstances our two families would have no trouble negotiating money matters. But the reality was beyond my imagination. When we sat down to discuss the marriage, my future mother-in-law and my mom had a very unpleasant argument over the bride price, and my mother-in-law kept haggling. The usual bride price in our area is 120,000 to 150,000 yuan. But his mother kept saying that was too much, and in the end, only because my mom insisted, she agreed to a bride price of 100,000 yuan.

The bride price matter drained a lot of energy from both families, and we originally thought the issue was settled. My boyfriend and I also picked the day to get our certificate, and during this time the two families continued discussing the dowry and the future marital home. The final result was that his family would buy the house, and my family would be responsible for the renovation and everything else. My mom was not very satisfied with this result, because she felt my future mother-in-law was always scheming about how to marry me, her daughter-in-law, at the lowest possible price. This feeling made my mom think her daughter had become a cabbage in a market that could be haggled over. During that time, my boyfriend and I were exhausted running back and forth between both sets of parents. I hope they will stop endlessly pushing over money.

Finally the day came to get our certificate, and I got up very early on purpose to line up at the civil affairs bureau. Because it was a good day, many people chose to register that day, and we lined up for over an hour before it was our turn. While filling out the form, I received a phone call from my mom that startled me so much I almost dropped my pen. Just then, my future mother-in-law had called my mom to say she did not have that much money to buy a house for the two of us, and she hoped my family would pay for the house. My mom hurriedly called me and told me not to register our marriage yet. After hearing this, I was completely stunned and could not understand what my future mother-in-law really meant. After my boyfriend heard it, he dragged me off to find his mom, saying he wanted to ask her face to face what was going on.

When my future mother-in-law saw my boyfriend and me come together, she thought the two of us had already registered our marriage. Not only did she say she had no money to buy a house, but even the 100,000 yuan bride price she had originally agreed to with my mom was reduced to 10,000 yuan. She even pretended to be troubled and told me the family really had no money, and told me to take it and not be picky. My boyfriend stood beside me soothing my anger, telling me to agree to his mom first and discuss it with them after we got married. I was so angry that I shook off my boyfriend's hand and cursed at my future mother-in-law: "We are getting married, your family only puts up 10,000 yuan as bride price, and still asks my family to buy a house. Then I might as well marry someone else!" My mother-in-law's behavior was too infuriating. She thought I was certain to become their daughter-in-law, so she started showing a different face. It was simply chilling. It is not as if I cannot get married, so why should I have to pay to marry into his family? I think I need to reconsider this marriage.

(From a reader submission, the images in this article are from the internet)