The Desert Genie Story of a Russian, a Turk, and an American

A Russian, a Turk, and an American were walking through a vast desert. As they walked, they came upon a bottle. After they opened the stopper, a person floated out. That person said: "I am a genie, I can grant each of you three wishes!"

The American was the first to jump in and say: "My first wish is to have lots of money." The genie said: "That's easy, granted! Tell me your second wish." The American said: "I want even more money!" After the genie granted his wish, the American stated his third wish: "Send me home." The genie said: "No problem." So the American went back to the United States with lots of money.

The genie then asked the Turk. The Turk said: "I want beautiful women!" The genie gave him beautiful women. The Turk said again: "I want more beautiful women!" The genie granted that too and gave him beautiful women... Finally the Turk said: "Send me back to France."

After the genie sent the Turk back to his country, he asked the Russian what he wanted.

The Russian said: "First, bring me a bottle of vodka." The genie gave it to him. He asked him what his second wish was. The Russian said: "Another bottle of vodka!" The genie asked him what his third wish was.

The Russian said: "I kind of miss the Turk and the American. Bring them both back."

Day 2

The Turk and the American were furious, but there was nothing they could do, so the three of them had no choice but to keep walking. As they walked, they saw another bottle. After they opened the stopper, another person popped out. That person said: "I am the apprentice of that genie from before. My powers are not as strong as his, so I can only grant each of you two wishes." The Turk and the American discussed it and decided it was better to let the Russian speak first, to avoid being brought back again shortly after.

So the Russian said: "Then first bring me a bottle of vodka." The genie granted his wish. The Turk and the American urged the Russian to hurry up and state his second wish. After the Russian finished drinking his erguotou, he unhurriedly said to the genie: "All right, that's it, you can get lost."

Day 3

The American and the Turk, fuming, followed the Russian and kept trudging along. As they walked, they saw another bottle. After they opened the stopper, another person floated out. That person said: "I am the apprentice of the apprentice of that genie. I can only grant each of you one wish!" The American hurriedly jumped in and said: "I never want to see that Russian again." The genie said: "All right." Then he turned and asked the Turk: "And yours?" The Turk hurriedly said: "I don't want to see that Russian again either." The genie said: "All right." Then he turned and asked the Russian: "And yours?" The Russian said: "What they said doesn't count."

Day 4

And so the American and the Turk, gnashing their teeth, followed the Russian. As they walked, they saw another bottle. After they opened the stopper, another person floated out. That person said: "I am the apprentice of the apprentice of the apprentice of that genie. I can only grant the three of you one wish!" The American and the Turk shouted in unison: "Whatever that Russian says doesn't count." That person said: "All right," then turned and asked the Russian: "What do you want to say?" That Russian said: "Send them all back to their own countries, so they don't have to suffer by following me."

Day 5

The three of them kept walking. They saw the edge of the desert, they were about to succeed!

Suddenly, a group of indigenous people surrounded them.

The chief said: I want to see which of you is the smartest. The smartest one can leave. The remaining two stay. I will give each of you 100 lashes, but before the lashing, each of you may make one request.

The American thought about it: put down a cushion

The chief ordered: Fine

As a result, the cushion was beaten to pieces, and the American was beaten half to death.

The Turk said: give me 10 cushions

As a result, the cushions were beaten to pieces, and the Turk was fine. He laughed, hahahahaha, the Turk is still the smart one, right?

The chief said to the Russian: You speak

The Russian said: Put the Turk down as a cushion, and face up!