My mother-in-law is sick and hospitalized and wants me to pay the medical bills, but my mom says to settle the previous accounts first
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My mother-in-law is sick and hospitalized and wants me to pay the medical bills, but my mom says to settle the previous accounts first
On one side is my shrewd and stingy mother-in-law, on the other is my mom who is frustrated at me for not standing up for myself. After marriage, I am caught in the middle and do not know what to do. I always think it is better to avoid trouble than to invite it, and that a harmonious family brings prosperity. But can my endless forbearance and tolerance really buy family harmony? I am not sure. I am tired. I once felt that since this way of life cannot be changed, I might as well just live like this. It was not until this time that I felt the conflict had escalated to its peak, and that I should face a choice.
03:12
At the time, if my husband and I had not had a solid relationship, I would never have wanted to enter this family. My mother-in-law's shrewdness, stinginess, and meticulous calculation had already shown before the wedding. Back then, she haggled with my family over whether the bride price should be 10,000 more or 10,000 less. My family is not a stingy one, but my mom was very unhappy about this and kept it bottled up. She told me many times that if I lived with a mother-in-law like this in the future, I would definitely suffer. At that time, I naively thought that once married we would be one family, and maybe she would change her view of me.
After the wedding, my mother-in-law moved into the new house my parents bought, bringing my sister-in-law with her. When my mom heard about it, she was furious. She said she had already been very dissatisfied that their family had not bought a house, and now they had come to live in the house my family bought, which was utterly shameless, and she wanted to go confront my mother-in-law. I thought that if we had conflict so soon after the wedding, it would be even harder to get along later, so I stopped my mom. After they moved in, I paid for all the household expenses, and I did all the housework too. I was like a nanny in the home. Every time my mom went to my home and saw them, she got very angry. I told my mom that I had only just gotten married, and maybe they still did not understand what kind of person I am. After a long time, once they understood me, they would not treat me like this. Besides, they were not having an easy time either. My mother-in-law had poor health, so I asked my mom to just take pity on her. Only then did my mom hold back. But in the days that followed, my mother-in-law and sister-in-law did not change at all.
My mother-in-law was recently sick and hospitalized. I was busy with work and had no time to take care of her, and this caused my mother-in-law's dissatisfaction with me. One day, she called me and said that to be fair, since my sister-in-law had taken care of her, I should pay the medical bills. I actually had no objection and felt that what my mother-in-law said was not excessive. But when this reached my mom's ears, she became anxious. That same day she rushed to my company to find me and told me that after my mother-in-law and sister-in-law moved in, all the expenses were paid by me, and they had not contributed a single cent for household costs, so why should I be responsible for everything? If she wanted me to give money, that was fine, but they had to settle the previous accounts first. The rent for living in my house and the daily expenses had to be calculated clearly first. I saw that my mom was truly anxious this time, and I really could not bring myself to say the words to persuade her.
My mom is frustrated at me for not standing up for myself and thinks I am too indulgent toward my in-laws, and that if this continues they will go further and further. But I always feel that since I am already married, my in-laws and I are one family, and there is no need to calculate everything, because that would make life very tiring, and I would also live unhappily from being angry all the time. Things have developed to this point, and I really do not know what to do. Everyone, what do you think I should do so that I neither hurt the harmony with my in-laws nor calm my mom's anger?