Son wants to buy a house, mother writes a letter refusing, sparking heated discussion online

"Parents think about their children like a road stretching far into the distance; children think about their parents only as far as a chopstick is long." At first hearing, this saying carries a distinct implication that children are "selfish" - children always think of their parents when they need help with something, rather than thinking about how much pressure their parents will have to bear to solve it.

Recently, the editor saw a picture in a WeChat Moments feed. In the picture was a letter, and the child and mother in the letter have exactly this kind of flavor.In the letter, the child wants his parents to help him buy an apartment, but in his mother's view, a house is like one's own future - it needs to be fought for by oneself, and the child should be independent.

(Image from Visual China Group)

Mother writes a letter by hand: You ultimately have to fly on your own!

Dear son:

There are some things I don't know how to bring up, so I chose to use the most primitive method to tell you what's in Mom's heart.

From your birth to now, you are 26 years old, and for these 26 years, Mom has always been very happy. Your arrival brought infinite joy to Mom's life. But recently, some problems seem to have appeared between us.

You said everyone around you has bought a house, you said you'll need an apartment when you look for a girlfriend later, you said housing prices keep rising now and there definitely won't be a loss before the Asian Games, so you told Mom you want to buy an apartment in the Xiaoshan urban area of Hangzhou.

But in my view, at 26 you need to shoulder some things on your own, rather than, like when you were little, getting whatever you wanted just by crying and saying a word. In my view, you are still nestling in our arms like a child.

Why does Mom refuse you? Mom only hopes you can understand: you ultimately have to fly on your own, and your dad and I are only your strong backing, not the ones who will always stand at the very front.

Mom hopes that you can get what you want through your own efforts. Whether it is a house or a dream, you ultimately have to walk toward an unknown future alone.

Your mom

July 25, 2018

There are a few lines in the letter that make one think.

"You said everyone around you has bought a house, you said you'll need an apartment when you look for a girlfriend later, you said housing prices keep rising now and there definitely won't be a loss before the Asian Games, so you told Mom you want to buy another apartment in the Xiaoshan urban area."

"Why does Mom refuse you? Mom only hopes you can understand: you ultimately have to fly on your own, and your dad and I are only your strong backing, not the ones who will always stand at the very front."

In the letter, the child wants his parents to help him buy an apartment, but in the mother's view, a house is like one's own future - it needs to be fought for by oneself. The child should be independent, rather than constantly seeking help from his parents.

This kind of thinking is actually not uncommon in life. However, when children need help, some parents will choose to lend a hand when they can.

(Image from Visual China Group)

Many netizens saw this letter and also discussed it heatedly.Some netizens believe that the post-90s generation faces great pressure today, and parents should help out a bit.

@lufthansa: The post-80s and post-90s are different again. Many post-70s people have multiple properties, not because their abilities are truly strong, but simply because they were born earlier and bought earlier, and dared to buy - that's all. The difficulty of buying a house for today's post-90s is definitely greater than for the post-80s before, there's no controversy about that.

@DeFly-7: Just wait to become an older leftover man.

@wearing slippers to ride a white sheep: This mom's handwriting is really beautiful... but at the very least she should help the child out a bit, otherwise how hard would he have to struggle?

Some netizens believe that parents in China should change their thinking. Everyone has their own life, and raising a child to adulthood is enough.

@Wu Qinge: Parents in China should all read this letter carefully. Why contribute all 20-30 years of your youth to buying a house and paying off loans, and in the end still have to take care of grandchildren? Every individual has their own life, and raising a child to adulthood is enough. Do they not have their own hands and feet? Then their own children repeat the cycle for their own grandchildren, generation after generation, asking for trouble themselves.

Quite a few netizens also support this mother's approach: children should learn to rely on themselves, and life under pressure is more motivating.

@Particular_dance: The comments all say to help out a bit, but that's from one's own perspective. If you had a child yourself, would you not agree with this mother's approach? Considering it from a mother's perspective, I agree. Although I gave birth to you, life still has to be walked by yourself. I also have my own life. After clearing the thorns for you for twenty years, you also need to walk independently.

@Happy Tourist: Many post-80s people around me bought houses and cars, got married and had children in Hangzhou all on their own. There was nothing to leech off, and I couldn't bear to leech either. Instead, life under pressure is more motivating and happier.

@Borrowed something and didn't return it, why: Actually, Xiaoshan currently has prices ranging from over 10,000 to around 20,000 yuan, so if you stretch a bit and work hard, it won't be a big problem.

@Hello hello 99: My husband and I are both post-80s. No one in my family could take care of the child, so I quit my job to take care of the child. Neither of us is an only child, so we couldn't rely on our parents. We bought our house ourselves. At that time, housing prices in Daguan were not high. We worked for a few years, saved up a down payment, and bought a small apartment. Later, when housing prices were high, we sold the house and bought a bigger one in Xihu District. At the time, we just thought that if you could reach it on tiptoe, you had to buy...

@You can't see my comment: From an outsider's perspective, I support the parents' approach.

Source | Hangzhou Daily (hangzhoudaily) comprehensive Xiaoran Online Beigan Tingfeng (xs163-net)

Life under pressure is more motivating - that saying is right

What do you think? Do you support this mother's approach?

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