If the front door is not lit, the back courtyard will not be bright; the old folks say family tradition is a bright lamp

Many old rural sayings contain profound wisdom, and some still shine brightly even today. Much of what the elders say is meant to help us live and grow better. Take today's saying, "If the front door is not lit, the back courtyard will not be bright" - it seems very simple in meaning, but what it contains is the earnest teaching of elders toward their children.

"If the front door is not lit, the back courtyard will not be bright" is plain and easy to understand in language, very straightforward - this is in fact a common feature of Chinese folk sayings. But when you think about this sentence more deeply, you will discover the elders' painstaking care.

In this sentence, the front door lamp refers to parents and elders, while the back courtyard refers to the children. The deeper meaning of this sentence is actually to tell people that elders must lead by example so that their children can grow up to be capable adults. But if elders cannot even do well what they ought to do, what face do they have to educate their own children?

As the saying goes, "If a child is not taught, it is the father's fault," but thinking deeply, why should the parents be blamed? Parents are a child's first teachers, and family education is the first education. Only when family education and school education are combined and complement each other can a child better enter society and receive society's education.

But if parents fail to fulfill the duties they ought to fulfill, yet expect their children to become dragons and phoenixes, and even blame their own children for being inferior to other people's children - in fact, when blaming a child for being inferior to others, how many parents think about whether they themselves are inferior to other people's parents?

"In the past, Mencius's mother chose her neighbors" - the story of Mencius's mother moving three times is not meant for children to hear as a bedtime story; rather, it is something parents should think about: how should they educate their children? This is the duty parents ought to fulfill. Although we cannot give our children a wealthy economic life, at least we should strive to give them the best spiritual life.

So parents are a child's first teachers, just like the lamp in front of the door - what it illuminates is not only the entrance hall, but also the child's life. Once you become a parent, you must know self-discipline; only when you lead by example can your children be convinced by you.

The Book of Rites says, "Cultivate oneself, regulate the family, govern the state, and bring peace to the world," but most of us have not even done the first step well.

Being a bright lamp is not easy, so having a child cannot be done rashly. Once you decide to have a child, you must realize that this is not an obligation you fulfill for continuing the family line, but something you must tell yourself for the rest of your life: as a parent, you must know how to lead by example.

So I advise those young people who are still children themselves not to irresponsibly bring a life into this world because of their own mistakes. Life is already not easy, and the child is even more innocent. Even if it was an accident at first, once you become a parent you must know how to restrain yourself.

Family tradition is the greatest wealth of a family, and elders are the bright lamp in their children's hearts. Yan Zhitui drifted and wandered all his life, and what he left to later generations was not a life of fine clothes and fine food, but a family instruction distilled from a lifetime of experience, telling descendants to be "sincere and filial, careful in speech, and disciplined in conduct."

So gold and silver are not the greatest wealth; what can remain in a child's heart is a family tradition like a bright lamp.

The above comes from Science and Agriculture.