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When Discussing Marriage, My Future Mother-in-Law Wanted to Cut the Bride Price, So I Took Out the Dowry List and She Immediately Shut Up

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(From a reader submission, images in this article are from the internet) When discussing marriage, my future mother-in-law wanted to reduce the bride price. I smiled and took out the dowry list, and she immediately shut up. I used to think that two people in a relationship were in it for love, until I had to discuss marriage with my boyfriend...

(From a reader submission, images in this article are from the internet)

When Discussing Marriage, My Future Mother-in-Law Wanted to Cut the Bride Price, So I Took Out the Dowry List and She Immediately Shut Up

I used to think that two people in a relationship were in it for love, until I had to discuss marriage with my boyfriend, and only then did I realize I had been far too naive. For a man and woman about to get married, love is only one aspect, and for both families, the importance of material goods and property fully reveals itself at this point. Our wedding kept being delayed, mainly because we were stuck on this very issue.

My family has been poor since I was little. We live in the suburbs, my parents have no jobs and make a living by farming and working in the city. I also have a younger brother, two years younger than me, who is not married yet and just graduated from university, so the family burden is heavy. My boyfriend's family is from the city. Although they are not what you would call wealthy, they at least meet the standard of an ordinary working-class family. So my future mother-in-law always looked down on me. Ever since we made our relationship public and he brought me to their home, she often belittled and mocked me in her words. Considering that she is my boyfriend's only close relative, I put up with a lot, thinking that I would inevitably have to get along with her and live with her in the future, so instead of taking offense, I tried my best to please her.

Perhaps because she saw how respectful, obedient and filial I was to her, or perhaps because her son was too insistent, in any case my mother-in-law finally relented and agreed that we could start discussing matters related to marriage. To be honest, at that time I felt like I had captured the most difficult position in a battle and won a stage victory. I felt that I was finally about to enter marriage with my boyfriend, and I even had an impulse to cry. From this you can all understand what kind of mood I was in. It was really so hard, much harder than I had imagined.

I originally thought that after the bitterness came the sweetness, and everything would go smoothly. But I never expected that when the two families sat down to discuss marriage, my future mother-in-law still found all sorts of faults with me. Her way of showing it was very peculiar, and it mainly centered on the bride price, with her changing her plan every day and the amount getting smaller and smaller. My family did not agree and insisted on following our local custom of at least 150,000 yuan, not a cent less. She was silent at the time, and we thought she had given in. But not long after, she said she still did not want to give that much. She thought my family's circumstances did not deserve such a large bride price and insisted on halving it. This dragged on for months without reaching an agreement. Seeing the wedding delayed again and again and unable to be held on schedule, and seeing her look as if she would never give up until she got her way, I could not bear it anymore. So recently I smiled and showed her a dowry list my family had prepared for me. After seeing it, her expression changed dramatically, and she compromised right then.

In just these two months, my family's situation underwent some very big changes. The house in our hometown was demolished, and my parents originally wanted to give me an apartment as part of my dowry, and also wanted to give me some money. Now with the bride price so low, it would not be worth it for my family to chip in even more. I told her that it looked like my family could save too, and that there was no need to include an apartment in the dowry, which was actually a good deal. After hearing that, her attitude changed immediately. Not only did she immediately stop her belittling and nitpicking, but she also tried all kinds of ways to please me, saying that I did not look like the kind of person who would be poor for a lifetime, with a face full of smiles, and she immediately gave in on the bride price as well. Everyone, do you think my future mother-in-law's snobbery is astonishing? Is there still any need to continue this marriage?




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