A little laugh: See, I told you, people only praise you for being slim, not for being pretty.
Editor's note from Mr. Potted Plant: When I was in middle school, I had a classmate named Xu Yizhu, whose English initials abbreviated to XYZ, and he was so proud of it that he wrote it in fancy English script on all his stationery. Until one day, the class monitor picked up his pencil and, seeing the letters on it, muttered to himself: "Xiao...... Yin...... Zei!" ("Little...... Lecher...... Thief!")
Editor's note from Mr. Potted Plant: One noon in summer, I saw a pretty woman waving at me, and I was overjoyed. I walked up to her and asked: Is there anything I can help you with? She said in surprise: Nothing! I don't think I know you! I felt like I was being played with, and said angrily: Why did you wave at me? She said with a smile: It's too hot, I'm using my hand to fan myself, is that not allowed?
Editor's note from Mr. Potted Plant: I ordered takeout, and when I opened the door, a young woman was delivering it. Me: "How come you're the one delivering?" The young woman: "We're short-staffed, so I had to fill in!" I gave her the money: "Thanks for your hard work!" She took the money, counted it, and said: "Welcome to come again next time! Take care, boss!" As soon as the words left her mouth, she froze for a few seconds, blushed, and said: "Ah, I'm used to saying that! You didn't hear that, okay!" Then she lowered her head, turned around, and left...
Editor's note from Mr. Potted Plant: When I had just gotten to know my wife, I stayed at my mother-in-law's house for a few days, and to make a good impression I rushed to do everything, sweeping the floor, cooking, washing dishes, working in the fields. Five years have passed, but in my wife's village there still circulates to this day a legend about a son-in-law at his mother-in-law's house who, while feeding the chickens in the chicken coop, fell over and crushed three chickens to death...
Editor's note from Mr. Potted Plant: I got to the station at nine o'clock and called my dad. My dad was especially happy and told me, just stand there and don't move, I'll be right there. At the time my heart felt warm, so I just sat there and waited and waited. Twenty minutes later, I figured the distance wasn't that far and he should have arrived, so I called back to ask him. The first thing he said when he answered the phone was, don't worry, I'll come pick you up right after I finish this last cup, whatever you do, don't leave.
Editor's note from Mr. Potted Plant: My boyfriend's birthday was coming up, and to give him a surprise, I mobilized all my good friends, and their friends too, and finally gathered 520 people, agreeing that everyone would text him "I love you" at midnight at the same time! The next day, seeing how sleepy he looked, I carefully asked, are you not happy about the special gift you got? He said: So it was you, you scared me to death, afraid you'd get jealous, I spent the whole night deleting them!
Editor's note from Mr. Potted Plant: I was chatting nonsense with two close girlfriends, and girlfriend A said: "People at the office praise me for being thin every day." Girlfriend B said: "See, no one praises you for being pretty, right, they only praise you for being thin." Damn, why did you have to go and say such a brutal truth... (A little laugh: See, I told you, people only praise you for being slim, not for being pretty...)