Do succulents get athlete's foot too? Here's what's actually going on

Prank

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Wang Lan Yin 

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Yesterday quite a few people commented asking why the stinky succulents list didn't include the bear's paw (Cotyledon tomentosa). Just mentioning it breaks me, so with tears in my eyes I've written this ranking - those weird-smelling succulents! (Ranked in order), please read at your own risk.

01

Aeonium 'Purple Velvet' (Zi Yang Rong)

Just touching it makes your fingers stink, similar to the smell of athlete's foot - and what is athlete's foot? It's a sourer stench than ordinary foot odor! Those of you who compare the bear's paw to stinky feet have probably never encountered the power of Aeonium 'Purple Velvet'. You regret it every time you touch it, and leaning in for a sniff jolts you wide awake.

Crassulaceae, Aeonium genus. The color is green, turning purple when in its prime state. The leaves have a waxy texture and fine hairs, and just by looks alone it's quite beautiful.

The smell can be detected even in a ventilated spot, and touching it also releases the odor.

The smell of Aeonium 'Purple Velvet' always makes me think of this meme

02

Aeonium 'Shao Xiu'

The smell is a tiny bit fainter than Aeonium 'Purple Velvet', fairly similar - put plainly, it's the stench of urine... However, not many Shao Xiu actually give off a smell, and some people say theirs has no odor at all.

Crassulaceae, Aeonium genus. It looks quite similar to Aeonium 'Purple Velvet', but turns liver-brown when in its prime state. The difference from Aeonium 'Purple Velvet' is that even at its most extreme state, Shao Xiu's leaves still carry a bit of green, while Aeonium 'Purple Velvet' turns fully red.

The smell can be detected even in a ventilated spot, and touching it also releases the odor. Give someone a Shao Xiu as a gift, and your hand keeps the stench.

Oh no, it's, what is that smell! It's suffocating!

03

White Bear's Paw (Cotyledon tomentosa subsp. ladismithiensis)

This one is adorably cute, but lean in for a sniff and it's a combination of saliva smell and urine stench, utterly soul-crushing. Compared with foot odor, it has an extra rankness. The "charming" White Bear's Paw has a smell that's hard to put into words.

Crassulaceae, Cotyledon genus, the white-variegated form of the bear's paw. The leaves have white variegated patches on both sides, and when in its prime state the claws turn pink or red - extremely cute~

Lean in for a sniff even in a ventilated spot and there's still a smell.

This smell, hmm? What is it? Take one more whiff, then quickly push it away - the White Bear's Paw is for admiring from afar, not for getting up close and personal with!

04

Cat's Paw (Cotyledon tomentosa 'Cat Paw')

A relative of the bear's paw, its smell is a bit fainter than the White Bear's Paw - foot odor.

Crassulaceae, Cotyledon genus. It looks a bit like the bear's paw, but the claws are more slender and it only has three nails, whereas the bear's paw usually has five nails. It's said to be a mutated variety selected from the bear's paw's superior genetic traits.

In a ventilated spot there may be no smell at all; leave it in a poorly ventilated place for a week before you can detect it.

Hey hey hey, wrong picture - it should be this one!

05

Bear's Paw (Cotyledon tomentosa)

Some people say they can't smell it, some say it's foot odor, and others say it's saliva smell.

Crassulaceae, Cotyledon genus. The leaves are thick and green, and when in its prime state the claws turn deep red, as if a bear's paws are clapping.

Grown outdoors in a ventilated spot it may have no smell; when you buy one and open the box, that's when it's strongest.

Cute as it is, why is your fragrance still so strange!

06

Aeonium 'Little Man' (Xiao Ren Ji)

A faint foot odor; compared with the bear's paw, it lacks that rankness.

Crassulaceae, Aeonium genus. A hybrid of Aeonium sedifolium and Aeonium 'Xian Tong Chang', a miniature variety. The leaves are green with a purple-red stripe down the middle, are sticky, and have red edges; when in its prime state the leaves turn purple-red - a treat for stripe lovers.

It smells when water-stressed or after a thorough watering, and also right after you buy it.

I wonder if any brave soul wants to try the following methods:

1. In autumn and winter, work hard at giving it sun, sun, sun, then take a sniff

2. Strictly control watering, and the succulent will give off a smell

3. Break off a leaf and crush it - a bit cruel, but the effect is outstanding

4. In autumn and winter, find a poorly ventilated spot and leave it there for a week - it will definitely be intense!

After all that sniffing, this editor needs a break - at least three days. Don't let me see these succulents!

Have any of you ever come across a weird-smelling succulent in your life?

Hurry up and leave a comment and share it!

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