I didn't ask for a bride price, yet my husband still wants me to borrow money from my parents to pay off my brother-in-law's debt. On what grounds?

(From a reader's submission, images in this article are from the internet)

Husband, I didn't ask for the bride price, and you still want me to borrow money from my parents to pay off your brother's debt. Where is your shame?

Can the two words "no money" replace all the responsibilities and obligations that should have been borne? Before, I really could understand their so-called hardships, but later I found that this seemed to have become an excuse for my husband and his family to be indifferent and not value me. Only now do I understand that their so-called "no money" means they are unwilling to spend a single cent on me, and beyond that, it has also become an excuse to make unlimited demands on me.

When we got married, my mother-in-law kept crying poor to me, saying she couldn't afford a bride price. Looking at her expression, it didn't seem very sincere. At that time, I turned to look at my husband beside me, but he just kept silent and didn't say a word either. Although I already felt dissatisfied, thinking of all these years of feelings, I let it go. Later, I tried to discuss it with my husband, saying that although his family couldn't afford a bride price matching our local marriage customs, they could at least prepare a little something, so that I could have something to show my parents and not lose too much face in front of relatives and friends. But he said that we live our own lives and it has nothing to do with other people's opinions.

Seeing that I was really unhappy, he later said he would persuade his mother to make the wedding more thoughtful, so as to win back some face for me. When I heard that, I thought it was the only option available, and as long as there was even a little bit of merit to it, I would at least feel somewhat comforted and not too embarrassed. Because my family had always disapproved of me marrying into his family, feeling that it was bad enough that his family's financial situation was poor, but my mother-in-law was also famously shrewd far and wide, and such a family really didn't seem like an ideal one to marry a daughter into, but I just wouldn't listen.

Unexpectedly, my husband broke his word. On the day of the wedding ceremony, my mother-in-law "kept everything simple," and from the venue decoration to the drinks and banquet, everything was shabby, and it was obvious that not much money had been put into it. I felt very humiliated. Watching my relatives one by one with dissatisfied and worried expressions, I felt embarrassed and my heart was full of discontent. That was one thing, but what I didn't expect even more was that not long after the wedding, my husband said his younger brother had gotten into trouble again and owed a sum of money, and he hoped I would go back and ask my parents to help figure something out. I felt that his whole family didn't put any effort into me at all and only wanted to gain benefits from me, each time going too far. At that point I could no longer hold back and got into an argument with him. But he said I was being immature, that once I married into the family I was one of them, and that everything should put the interests of the husband's family first. After hearing this, I was furious. I sneered and asked him: "Husband, I didn't ask you for a single cent of bride price, and you still want me to borrow money from my parents to pay off your brother's debt. As a grown man, where is your shame?"

He is still in a cold war with me because of this remark and because I refused to go home and borrow money from my parents. My mother-in-law also speaks coldly to me all day and makes pointed accusations. Everyone, judge for me: what did I do wrong to deserve this kind of treatment? Is it because before marriage I was too understanding of my husband's family's situation, so they simply don't take me seriously at all?