8 cartoons that slap Chinese parents in the face: What you are like, your child will be like
AuthorLi Yueliang
CartoonsWang Yuan
SourceLi Yueliang (ID: bymooneye)
8 cartoons that slap Chinese parents in the face
What you are like, your child will be like
01
You fail to do well yourself, yet desperately push your child
Your fitness equipment has been thrown in the corner for nearly ten years, and the spider webs have been renewed for several generations.
You think that is perfectly normal. But when your son does not practice the piano, you cannot stand it, and you think he is going too far.
Is that reasonable?
As a parent, teaching by example is always more important than teaching by words.
Children are not foolish; they can instinctively tell truth from falsehood. So they are more inclined to imitate their parents' behavior rather than believe the principles their parents preach.
You are lazy, restless and sloppy, yet you hope your child will be diligent, self-disciplined and good at everything. How could that be possible?
Before making demands of your child, first make yourself good.
02
Not lovable at all, yet complaining that your child does not love you
Your home has become a pigsty, so of course he does not want to go back.
You do not see him once a month, so of course he is not close to you. You snap at him whenever you are in a bad mood, so of course he dislikes you.
Truly, all of your child's dislike, distancing and uncooperativeness must have a reason.
Their thinking is very simple: they instinctively do what they like and draw close to the people they like.
So when your child is always distant from you, always envies other people's parents and other people's homes, and always disobeys, refuses to cooperate and rejects your instructions,
please reflect on yourself.
Do not always start by labeling your child: "Why are you so peculiar?" 99% of the time, it is not that the child is cold, heartless and ungrateful; it is that there is something wrong with your parenting style.
Do not blame the child; blame yourself.
03
You are right in every way, and all mistakes are the child's
As soon as something happens, you scold the child furiously.
You never stop to think whether your arrangements are unreasonable or your expectations are unfounded.
Even if you realize you are wrong, you must still argue stubbornly. Relying on being the adult, you bully the child because he is not eloquent enough to outtalk you.
Such childish, vain and unreasonable parents will inevitably incur heartfelt contempt from their children.
When the day comes that he says "heh" to your face, do not feel wronged.
04
Making the child take the blame for an unhappy marriage
You say over and over that you love your child, but in fact you have not provided the child with a truly wonderful life.
You cannot even manage the small thing of "not arguing in front of the child."
The marriage is beyond saving, yet you drag it out and refuse to divorce.
It is clearly because you are cowardly and incapable of taking that step, yet you insist on claiming that you are enduring humiliation "to give the child a complete home."
In fact, for this kind of home full of chaos and bitter resentment, what use is completeness?
The child does not cherish it.
If you truly want what is best for the child, either manage this home well, handle the marital relationship well, and stop having daily cold wars and hot wars that leave the child terrified. Or simply get divorced, and everyone can have peace.
If you do not dare to divorce, then admit it generously and do not make the child take the blame. Otherwise, that final line, "Wasn't it all for you?", is enough to burden the child.
What did the child do wrong? In childhood the days were a mess, and when grown up he still has to carry a load of guilt. Whom did he offend?
05
Loving to raise giant babies, and never tiring of it
Generally speaking, Western parents believe that after age 18 a child is an adult.
But Chinese parents always feel that their child will never grow up. So they must take care of every little thing, satisfy every demand big or small. Even when the person is thirty or forty years old, if he sneezes you still immediately go find him a jacket.
If a person is sheltered so tightly, how can he become independent?
So giant babies are everywhere.
And for a man who is already dozens of years old and still lets his mother decide everything, it is hard to imagine he can bear any responsibility in society, work or family.
Chinese parents simply cannot bear to separate from their children.
But the child inevitably must leave you and live his own life.
If you do not separate, it will become deformed. Giant babies are very ugly.
Insisting that children do what is appropriate at each age is a required lesson that most Chinese parents lack.
06
Always thinking "that kind of thing" is something children will understand on their own
Some children were born from trees. Some were pulled out of the sewer. The better ones were exchanged for gold bracelets.
The sex education Chinese children receive is pitifully little.
Adults keep everything related to reproduction, both organs and behavior, shrouded in secrecy, so much so that some children do not even know what is happening when they are sexually assaulted.
What is even more bizarre is that when schools try to seriously teach a little sex knowledge, there are always parents who complain, saying it is too explicit, too frightening, and how can you teach children this?
Truly, the benevolent see benevolence and the lewd see lewdness.
What you should teach, you do not teach; when others teach properly, you still will not allow it; and since the child must understand that knowledge, he can only grasp it through crooked paths or explore it by trial and error. Is that not even worse?
Actually, why make it so complicated? If the child asks, just explain simply and honestly. A small child will not take it so seriously; if you tell him the names of the genitals, he will find them as normal as arms and feet.
If the child is a little older, buy a book on puberty education and put it at home, and that basically solves it.
This matter really is not that complicated. It is us adults who overthink it.
07
Demanding that children be saints
The reason you and your spouse do not fight or scramble and remain peaceful and friendly is that you were prepared in advance and bought two newspapers.
If there were only one, you two would fight over it too, right?
Then why demand that children share one toy politely and not fight?
Many parents imagine their children to be saints. They insist that they must love others as themselves and be noble and upright.
Things like: you are the older sister, so you must give in to your younger brother.
Things like: you must be polite to elders.
Things like: good things should be shared.
When doing it yourself, you scratch your heart and liver in agony, but when telling the child, you are calm and breezy.
In fact, children by nature all have a selfish, competitive, even savage and crude side, and their character is absolutely no nobler than adults'.
You can ask them to conduct themselves well. But if they fail to do so, you must know that that is normal.
08
You yourself are not upright, yet you expect your child not to go crooked
Many parents want in their hearts to teach their children well, and their mouths are full of high-sounding phrases, but their actions are far removed.
With your mouth you teach the child to be upright, brave and kind, but when you encounter a petty gain of three or five yuan, you immediately show your true colors and cannot withstand the test at all.
Yet you are unaware of it. You still think you are lofty, wise and full of integrity in the child's heart, and you wonder why the child is not like you.
Little do you know that the child is exactly like you.
No matter how well you pretend, it is useless; whatever the real you is like, the child will learn to be like that.
Parents' character is passed down like germs. In the end, the child's worldview and behavior patterns are guaranteed to be the essence of your bones.
A child is born a blank sheet of paper: if you draw a flower, he blooms; if you plant a melon, he bears a melon.
Your behavior is the pen that outlines his life.
Pretending does not count. What truly influences the child is your true face.
So if you feel your child is not ideal, first look at what you yourself are like.
What you are like is your child's future.
- END -
*Author: Li Yueliang, a highly popular columnist, a new feminist, and a craftsman who writes solidly. She interprets emotions, sees through human nature, and accompanies countless women in growth with reason and wisdom. Her new book "Psychology of Love and Marriage: Loving You Is Not as Good as Loving You" is selling well. WeChat public account: Li Yueliang.
Featured content